Old Rant: Hail to the Redskins' Name (or The Hail with It)

            Given there are a lot of people who would like the Washington Redskins to change their name, and that a lot of people fancy alliteration with their sports teams’ names, I made a quick survey of a dictionary and pulled out several possibilities for fans to ponder.

            Since Washington is the center of national politics, political names should be given high consideration.  Don’t forget, Washington was once the home of the Senators. To wit:  Wafflers and Wags (flip-floppers and explainers); Wallopers and Whoppers (as in huge lies); Warlords and Warmongers (only Congress can declare war – legally that is); Weasles; Worms; Weirs (obstructionists); Wheedlers; Wheeler-dealers; Whigs (we are still free of the British); Wind (moving hot air, not turning); Whips (House and Senate, Majority and Minority); Whistlers (and blowers); Whitewashers; Whores (does money have anything to do with government or sports names?); (Big)Wigs and (Half) Wits; and, finally, Write-ins.

            The Supreme Court might eventually be involved.  Their decision might rest on whether they can get Daniel Snyder to go with Writs.

            Public opinion might be swayed in the sport pages, but only if the name would be Writers.

            The animal kingdom is well-represented in the sporting world and there are multiple possibilities here, too: Wallabies, Wallaroos, and Wombats (Australian, in case they change the rules); Walleyes; Walruses; Warhorses; Warthogs; Wasps, Watchdogs, and Worms (again); Weavers (birds); Werewolves (mythical); Whales; Whelks (could apply to Congress, too); Whelps; Whippets; Whippoorwills; Whitefishes; Wolves; Woodchucks; Woodpeckers; and Wrens.

            Mythological characters have always inspired: Warlocks (would go nicely with Wizards, no?).

            Daniel Snyder, the coaching staff, or players might even be the inspiration for the team’s new name: Waifs; Wallflowers; Wallowers; Warriors; Weirdos; Wardens; Wanderers; Wayfarers; Winners; Wrecks; Wretches; Wrinkles (in the game plan); and the occasional Wunderkinds.

            Some names just aren’t easy to categorize: Waltzers and Winks (probably should be listed with political names); Waves (one for the fans); Welters; Whams; Whats?; Whiffs (goes better with baseball); Whirlers; Whirligigs; Whirleybirds and Widgets (military industrial complex is centered in D.C., too); Whittlers; Wild Fire; Winos; Wizards (taken); and Watchdogs and Wraithes (can’t forget the lobbyists).

            And there is always my favorite: WYSIWYGs.

            In short there are innumerable places to seek inspiration for a new name and mascot.  What’s holding up the process?

Has to be noted that I removed Whiteys and WASPS, not because I didn't think they were funny, but I didn't think people would understand they were jokes within a joke, and a play on Redskins.

Also has to be noted that Dave Eckel, MD suggested a name I left out: Wimps.